Thursday, September 29, 2011

9-29-11 Day 7


The first set of funds that I was expecting came in yesterday afternoon, a few hours later then I had wanted or expected.  I was frustrated, but I got over it.  Once it did come in, I started to take care of issues and help secure things for the Biz and for my reality.

As for my reality there are a lot of “issues” that I have to address for myself.  The biggest one right now is my own issues about the homeless that I see in and around town.

Not all homeless people choose to be homeless that’s a given.   There are the Vets that are suffering from PTSD and until they can get that under control, they can’t contri8bute to society.  Sadly and this really is sad, is that these people have fallen through the cracks and continue on a spiral downfall that there is NO return.

Then you have those people that choose to be homeless.  They are the Anarchist who refuses to live by what society says.  They want to be free to travel the world.  To be able to do what they want, when they want.

The third group I have combined together: Drug Addicts and Mentally Challenged.  I grouped them together for in many respects they are one in the same.  However, how they are treated are two very distinct ways.  Mentally challenged individuals should have constant long term care while Drug Addicts, generally just need shorter health care as they recover from their drug abuse.

Finally, the fourth group, the new modern homeless that continue to grow at an alarming rate.  Those individuals and families that lost their job, then their homes and finally they have lost all hope.  Most of these people don’t have family to help them through their hard times.  I am part of this group, but not completely.  I still have my business whi9ch means some cash flow.  I still have a great deal of hope that I will pull through this and that it IS short term.

However, I do have FEAR!

Fear that I will slowly get sucked into the homeless life style.  I DO NOT want to become one of those smelly, dirty, talking to yourself type of people.  I DO NOT want to know where to go to find free supplies, or every single place for a meal.  Or to wait every single night in line for a possible bed for the night.  And yet, I am doing some of those things now.  For me to kid myself that I am better than any one of THOSE people is clearly i9nsane.  While some people may say that by accepting my situation that I am giving up and becoming one of those people.  God help me, I hope and desire not to be one of those people.  I mean no disrespect to those who are homeless; I just despise the whole homeless concept.  My God, we are still one of the richest countries on this planet and our homeless situation is pathetic and disgraceful!

While I have always seen myself as a survivor and one who can overcome great obstacles, I am fully aware that there comes a point for many people and maybe even myself when you ever so slowly give up and succumb to your situation.  I pray to God, if that happens to me, may my life end quickly.

Thus, for now, it is important to me to enjoy what I can in life; dinner or lunch with a friend; a movie outing; renting a room with a bed and continue to keep my business alive.  It is my business that one of my greatest joys does come from.  Helping others to live their dreams.

So with that…

Life goes on…I go on

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