Monday, September 17, 2012

Change Words - Shift Thought

For a year now I have been homeless and I saw myself struggling trying to recover from what I saw and felt as a lack of...home, relationships, and most importantly, money.

During this time, I did my best to stay positive, to believe that all of this was temporary. But, it seems my words were never really showing that.  I would bitch about what the printers had done to me, or the authors who took advantage of my good natured side, the list could go on.  All while doing mantras that I believed would help me stay positive and change my attitude towards feeling the lack-ness in my life.

There was an interesting shift that happened recently that has showed me to alter my wording, thus changing my perspective.  

Let's deal with Karma first.  What has happened against me is either due to my past shit that I have done to others, or for the lessons that those involved need to deal with.  The fact is that the damage is done.  I can sit and wallow in misery over it, or get on with my life.  I'm choosing to move forward and let Karma do its thing.

Yes, I know that materialistically I was lacking those things.  But I should not be reinforcing that belief.  Instead, I should acknowledge that I am those by accepting it and being grateful for it.  Which if you have read my posting on Penny Pinching, you know I am grateful for everything that comes into my life: good health, money, relationships and the ability to do what I love doing while changing the world.

However, I had to change the wording of my mantra, my belief system to reflect that I am not in lack.  My new mantra is this: I am free to share (insert word).  This now says that I do have and that I am willing to share it.  After all, if you don't share what you have, you are cutting off the flow.  Everything must be kept in balance from receiving to giving.  

Has anything changed since I started my new mantra?  Stay tuned in as I add posts to share what has happened.  I can tell you this, the first day I started to use the new mantra, I did get an extra $50 I was not expecting.  I was able to pay a bill with it, so I'm happy.

Life goes on...I go on

Thursday, September 6, 2012

The System is Rigid Against Them

On Sept. 5th at the national Democratic convention, Mrs. Elizabeth Warren was one of the speakers for that night.  While her speech was a good ol' democratic speech, she said one thing a couple of times that hit home for me.  "The system is rigid against them."  She was referring to how for the poor and the middle class, certain people have made it nearly impossible for them to climb out of their situation, such as to get a better education and in fact cause them to remain dependent on the government for help.  That is true in many respects.  Here is an example that I can personally relate to.

In 2000 I was involved in a car accident that caused the death of a person.  It was not something I had intended to do, but it was something I was responsible for.  I was charged with Intoxicated Manslaughter.  I did not fight the charges, I accepted my responsibility and did my time in prison for what had happened.

At that time, I had no idea the damage of what doing the right thing, accepting responsibility, would do to me.  I doubt seriously that I would have changed any thing, but the fact remains that I am now severely limited on what I can do for a living.  In the state of Texas and many states around the country, once you have a Felony on your record, you are prohibited from getting licensed in a variety of occupations.  In fact, for the state of Texas, I can not get licensed in over 30 different occupations, involving over 300 certifications or licenses.  In addition, due to the fear that has been generated in the media, most companies will not hire you with certain types of Felonies on your record, mine is one of those.  Thus, if I don't have my own business that does not require being licensed, I would become a ward of the state.

I continue to get punished for what I had done over 12 years ago, even though I have been discharged by the state for 'serving' my time and meeting all of their requirements, the state wishes to continue to punish me.  They claim they want me to be a viable part of the community, have a good job, a safe home, etc., but their restrictions keep me from being able to properly do so.

It has now even gone as far as being able to get certain grants or loans.  Again, because of my record, I am prohibited from growing and becoming a part of society in a positive way.  So it appears the system is clearly rigid against me.

Do I allow that to keep me from growing and from doing something I love to do, NO!  But it sure in hell doesn't make it easy.  Everyone makes a mistake in their life, some times its a minor mistake, sometimes it's a major one that impacts many lives.  But, do we need to continue to punish them for that mistake?  Had they learned their lesson, and thus are they better people because of it?  Are they using their lives to make others better?  What is the determining factor when we stop punishing them?

It's clear in the state of Texas that they love their prison system, with over 130 prisons and a population of over 150,000 inmates annually, they make money off the prisoners by using them as slave labor.  I'm going to stop here as this in itself is a loaded discussion.

The reality for me, is that I have to think outside the box to get things accomplished that an average person would have an easier time getting done; like earning money.

Through it all, I do my best to keep moving forward and to not be a burden to the state, but boy do they DO have it rigid against me!

Life goes on...I go on