Over Easter weekend I was out and about helping some friends at a fundraiser. During this time, I had the pleasure of meeting a person. I really had not thought much of it simply because we were both busy doing our thing, but it was clear that we had an attraction to each other. I gave them my business card and a kiss goodbye as I was leaving the bar and let the thought flow to the back of my mind as ‘that was nice.’
The following Monday I received a text from him. I was surprised and pleased by the gesture. We started to chat then and continued on to Thursday, when we decided to meet up for a brief time due to their schedule. It was a fun brief few minutes. There are a lot of things I like about the person and I could see myself wanting to learn more about them and to grow into something if it’s meant to be. However, that nagging thought came back to me. I’m homeless!
That single thought can truly ruin any hopes for romance of any type. Do I bother to spend the time to get to know them and to develop something, or do I stop it in its tracks. Sooner or later I will have to tell them and they will act in one of two ways…freak out and disappear as so many have done, or say it’s cool and remain friends, but nothing else.
I can’t blame them for not wanting to get involved with someone who is homeless. After all, it’s not saying much for who they are. I mean really, how could someone end up homeless, right? If you have been reading my blog you know how it happened. And that’s what the real aspect is, it happened and I am homeless.
What is frustrating for me is that I feel I have to cut myself off from friends and possibly romantic interest because of my situation. When people don’t know what is going on with me, they are pleasant and kind, acting as if I am a normal person. Don’t get me wrong, there are a hand full of people who are being supportive and I AM Grateful for them. It does keep my hopes for human kindness alive. But, there are those who do act differently because I am in my situation. I get it, I understand.
Thus, the continuing dilemma: Do I say something now and let it end? Do I keep going without saying anything in the hopes of something developing, which could then fall apart when they do find out? Do I act normal as if nothing out of the ordinary is happening? I do my best to be myself as much as I can and I hope they enjoy me for who I am. In time we will see what happens.
Life goes on…I go on