Monday, April 29, 2013

Already 18 Months...ugh

I was talking with a person over the weekend, we've known each other for a good two months now.  Slowly we have become friends, and both understand their is a desire for more to happen in our relationship, but it's going slow and that's good.

Has I have written before, I don't normally tell someone that I am homeless, after all, it's still something I am not happy about...who would be?

While we were talking about a variety of things, including spiritual understanding and growth, I brought up my homelessness as part of a point of how we sub consciously choose to do things, even when we know they may not be good for this case, me still being homeless. 

The admission caught the person ever so briefly which was nice to see.  But what caught me off guard was the fact that I realized it's been 18 months already of being homeless.  Hell, I didn't think I would last more then a month, and here it is 18 months later. 

In addition, while I still refuse to call my storage unit home, it is in many ways just that.  Even when a friend recently offered me to stay at their place with a lot of conditions, I felt that I should just stay put.  I have a routine, I have my belongings, I have a place that is mine.  With that admission, I can see why it is hard for people to move out of their 'comfort' zone at times.  Granted, my option was limited and short term, so not a major change, but it also brings me to a better understanding of others and of myself.

The good thing is that life still continues to improve.  I still have a contract job that is helping me pay my old and new bills.  I now have a car with payments, gas and insurance requirements being meet.  I have additional items that help me live better and a happier life.  So while I am still homeless, I continue to move forward and in time, I pray real soon, I will no longer be homeless.  Until then...

Life goes on...I go on