Thursday, August 30, 2012

I'm a Happy Penny Pincher

There was once a time when calling someone a "Penny Pincher" was a statement about how cheap they were.  Always squeezing out the best deals, being cheap as hell, etc.  It still applies for those of us older folks who remember and use the term.  For this blog posting though, I am using the term with a slight change.

If you have been following my blog, you know it's been tough as hell for the past 11 months.  I am homeless and I am struggling to keep my business alive, etc.  I'm not going into all the details here as you can read the posting to learn more.  Thus, it's easy to say that I don't have money to burn or waste in any way.

And yet, as I go through the day, I am blessed when I find a penny on the ground.  Yes, I know, a penny is not even worth what it's made of.  But it's a penny!  It's one more penny then I had.  It can be put into my little piggy bank for when I really need a few extra cents to have a meal of some sort, or to help pay for laundry, etc.  It is a gift as well.

I have watched with awe at when I find a penny, nickle, dime or even a quarter, I end up with at least a book sale that day.  It's a strange blessing, an indicator that money is coming to me in a larger amount.  Oh, don't get me wrong, I would love a penny to indicate a few thousand dollars coming my way, but it does not.  And I am grateful for what does come my way.

That's the thing, a small worthless penny is still something to be thankful for.  We get caught up in our day to day life of work and paying bills, that we begin to take it for granted.  Being able to take a vacation, one which I have not had in 6 years.  Or to buy gas for our car, clothes, dinners out, etc.  The normal day to day stuff that we feel entitled to, deserve and expect.  The reality is, ANYTHING can come along and take it away from you.  You are left with nothing, but bills, used items that no one will pay you a fair price for, nothing but your body and soul.

While most people would pass up that penny, I've learned something in my life that has been hard to accept, and it's been a valuable lesson during these past few months.  NEVER EVER pass up a gift.  By doing so, you are in effect telling God/Universe that you don't need it or want it.  Who are you to pass up a gift from God or the Universe?  Are you really that much better then It?  Next time you might need it and it wont come to you because you said No so many other times.

So while you enjoy what you have, remember to be grateful for it.  Even if it is a simple little penny that you find on the street.  It's more then you had and it may be a gift that has greater value.

Life goes on...I go on

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Mrs. Romney Clueless

As a writer I like to keep up on certain aspects of what is happening around the world.  In one such case I watched Mrs. Romney give a speech that was suppose to be about her husband, Mitt who is running for President of the United States.  I was curious to hear what she had to say, and to see if anything she said would persuade me to vote for him.

Well, sadly she didn't say anything of great value to me.  I was intrigued by how she pointed out how rough their life was when they first got in a basement apartment, having to use a door on seahorses as a desk, or an pull out ironing board as a dinner table.  How they walked to the University together each day.  Ah, how sweet...really, it is.

Then she wanted to talk to the Mom's of the world and single them out as the main reason that our country is so great.  Excuse me?  Don't get me wrong, I know it's hard on mom's to raise a child, work and try to have a life of their own, which sadly they rarely get.  But by singling out the Mom's that seemed to indicate to me that everyone else was not as valuable to the Country.  So here I am, a single male who is working 50-80 hours a week trying to keep my business alive, who is willing to accept his homeless fate in so doing and I'm not as valuable as a Mom?

Ok, I know I may be getting some mom's upset by making it appear they are not valuable, that's not the case.  What annoyed me is that Mrs. Romney, in a desperate attempt to win over the women votes tried to make one group more important then another.  Didn't they do that before the Civil Rights movement?  Don't the Republicans still do this with Gay Marriage?  Why is is so important for the Republicans to keep separating people?  Why is it that they can not just treat everyone equally?

Yes, Mom's you do a great job, I get it.  I had to help my mom raise my sister who was 9 years younger then I was.  I was the full time babysitter when I wasn't at school.  I know it's not easy.  I also wish I had the chance to have my own kids, but that is not meant to happen.  So, yes, you DO work hard, harder then a lot of people.  You have my full respect for what you do.

As for Mrs. Romney, she also brought up the success of her husband and what he had accomplished without really mentioning his former businesses, or employers names.  But at what cost?  How many people suffered under his leadership?  I'm not sure I'm ready for more suffering.  Heck, I thought we would be much further along now in recovery then we are.  Oh, but I forgot, the Republican party doesn't want to accept the blame for putting us here in the first place under President Bush (2).  Nah, they would rather keep fighting President Obama and say it's all his fault.  Sorry, but it's both parties fault.

No, it was very clear that Mrs. Romney lived in that sweet adorable basement apartment for a short time before she began to move up the ladder of success with her husband.  No doubt, she had forgotten what it was like then, and her kids have no clue what it is like now for people like me who are homeless. 

Life goes on...I go on

Saturday, August 18, 2012

My Diggs

A lot of new people have come into my life over the past few months.  Most don't have a clue that I am homeless and I choose to keep it that way for a variety of reasons.  Those that have learned about me have asked to see where I am living...the dreaded storage unit.

Well, here are three pics of my cozy 10x10 unit from left to right:

The dresser drawers were left by another unit renter.  I do keep my fold able clothes in it..  Note that black bag at the bottom, that's my ice storage container.  Holds about 4 20 oz bottles with the ice.  The bag does keep it pretty cold for about 12 hours.

To the right you see a box with a towel hanging on it.  That is my wardrobe closet for hanging shirts, and it also serves as my towel rack for my gym/shower towel.  You can also see the white shelving unit, which holds some of my books.

Right about the blue towel is a couple of my pillows, and my quilt that I lay out each night to sleep on the floor.  I roll it out in front of my wardrobe box.  My feet reaches the metal door, so I have to be careful not to stretch out and kick the door and make a lot of noise.  Remember, no one is to know that I live in there.

Behind the wardrobe box and all along the back wall are the $40,000 worth of books that are not selling...:(  I really do need an investor to get over this hump so that I can properly market them and my biz and get the books to sale.  Not just the paper copies, but ebooks also.

The black office chair is my office space.  My pic is high up on a table holding up my lamp.  My monitor is on my filling cabinets, thank God I had bought a monitor that can also pick up TV signals with an antenna, that has helped me stay abreast of things, and kept me from going stir crazy.

The other shelving space is just more books that are not  Oh, and that one square thing up front is my little fan box that does help in keeping me cool at nights and when I am working away.

That's my home.  It's not much, but it's MUCH better then sleeping on a park bench, or somewhere worst.  Reminding myself that I could be in worst shape as some of those that I see on the streets daily, has kept me in a positive mind set.  I keep working towards moving forward and getting back what was lost, just in a better, healthier way.

Life goes on...I go on.

Lesson of Balance


The Universe does work in mysterious ways, and God's form of communication can be at times horrifying or completely gut splitting hysterical.

Today as I rode the bus I had one of those combined moments of pleasure, then sickness followed by simple laughter at what was happening.

I was pre occupied in my mind about a meeting I was heading to, nothing un-usul with that.  I choose to sit towards the back of the bus this time, which is unusual for me.  I happen to sit behind a middle age women who had a bouquet of flowers.  They smelled fresh, sweet and wonderful.  I took a deep inhale and enjoyed the aroma.  I sat there calmly enjoying the aroma of the flowers, enjoying the peace and serenity for a few blocks.

Not paying much attention to who was coming or going off the bus, I was startled back into reality by the smell of something putrid.  I looked up and saw that a homeless man had sat down in the seat in front of me and right next to the lady with the flowers.  AHHHH!!!  What a smell that was coming from him.  And yet, with a breeze every so often, the wonderful smell of the flowers found my noise...just not enough times I felt at first.

It was here that I began to chuckle at the message I perceived.  BALANCE.

The Universe lives in balance and when it doesn't we end up in various situations or extremes.  In this case, the beauty of the flowers gave off a wonderful relaxing smell, while the homeless man gave off a smell of...well, I want to use the word 'death', but that's not completely fair or accurate.  But it was clearly not pleasant in any way to me.  Thus, I had to endure his smell at times, as I also got to enjoy the smell of her flowers.  I found the balance between the two that allowed me to move forward in a healthy positive way and not cling to one or the other.

In life we are always meet with the need for balance, we just usually have no clue that we need it until it is too late.

This lesson of Balance has shown it self to me many times over the past 9 months of homelessness, and I do hope to keep it in my mind and heart so that as I continue to grow through this event, I can come out more balanced, more aware of who I am and what the world is about.

Life goes on...I go on.

Saturday, August 11, 2012



I have been dealing with the usual craziness of not knowing what's going on with the world or my life like everyone else has been for the past few years.  Let's face it, the world is a great place with a lot of opportunity and love, but there are a lot of people who feel they must control it and destroy it for others, thinking they are doing the right thing for themselves.  Corporate greed comes to mind? Or how about Politics?

Well, even though I have been homeless for 9 months, I really have been grateful that my situation has not been worst then it could be.  I have been blessed even when I don't feel that I have been.  Little things, like seeing a penny on the street and picking it up.  Sure, it's just a penny and not even worth the one cent value.  But it's a penny that is there for me to find and to pick up.  It's a penny that God/Universe said here is a little something to give you hope.  To remind you that it could be far worst then it is...that life is still giving you something.  I have figured that over the past year, I have found over $100 in coin and yes, about 3 $20  So in coin about $40 dollars worth.  Over a 12 month period that's not much, but IT IS more then I had.  Thus, I am grateful for it.

Yesterday, I had lunch with a friend of mine.  We have been dealing with life over the past two years.  Our individual turmoils and with each lunch we always seem to inspire each other for greatness, for joy and definitely for imagination.  I the writer, him the movie producer.  It's been great.  No judgement, just support and an ear to hear what we need to say and get off our chest.

Yesterdays lunch however, was very different for us.  We had commented on what things, items, we have gotten rid of in our lives, freed ourselves of.  Then we acknowledged what is still ahead of us, and it was really very small in size compared to the past two years.  A realization had come to both of us that life was good.  Not great by no means, but good.  We are in a position to move forward in our lives in a healthy way.  I honestly can't explain it more.  Yes, we could loose what little we have left in our lives, but it's so little it wouldn't phase us as much.  We are not holding on to materialistic things.  Our goals in life are simple:  To help the Universe move forward.  With that we wait to hear what our prayers and meditations deliver to us.  What is it we can and will do to help the Universe grow healthier, wiser and definitely more loving.

We both were at peace with where we are in our lives. A peace that neither of us had really been in over the two years that we had during our near monthly lunches.  We had our inspirations, our encouragements for each other as we always do, but we were at peace.  It was beautiful!

Now the question is this:  When in the Hell will things change direction and get ALL of us back on track to peace and love?  Maybe never for everyone, but I honestly believe the time is very close at hand...and based on what I have been hearing, feeling and just know, it's very close at hand.  Who knows maybe the 2012 predictions of the big change happening is actually going to happen.  Not in the way of doom, but of great change...

I hope so.  We as a society really need to get our shit together, replace the corruption that exists on so many levels and get our planet back on track to health and peace...LOVE!

Life goes on...I go on