Below is a short story that I created for fun, but it does clearly represent in a short concept what my life is and about as a homeless man.
It’s
five in the morning as he begins to wake up.
It’s cold in the room that he calls home. As he swings his feet off the cot he uses as
his nightly bed, the cement floor is cold to the touch. He grabs the plastic 32 oz. bottle, stands up
naked as can be, opens the top of the bottle and inserts his penis into the
hole to begin his morning ritual. This
is a normal morning for him, though on some mornings, he gets to sleep in, but
that is rare and only due to a holiday.
Holidays and Sundays are when the staff of the storage facility he lives
in doesn’t arrive until 10 a.m. or later.
It’s those days he doesn’t feel the rush to get dressed and get out of
the unit as quickly as possible.
The
fear of being caught sleeping in the 10 foot by 10 foot square box makeshift
home is always on his mind. If caught,
they could lock up his unit and only allow him access during their working
hours, or have him removed. That is not
a possibility for him; there is absolutely nowhere else to go. No friends or
family in the area and no other shelter that will accommodate his working hours
or give him access to an office or work space he constantly needs.
He
gets dressed in his gym clothes and packs his gym bag with the clothes he will
wear at his day job. Within 15 minutes
of getting up, he is heading out to the gym to begin a long day.
The
gym serves two purposes: a place that he can use to work out when he has the
mental mindset and physical energy to do so hopefully to keep old age and poor
eating habits from consuming his body and to have a place to shower and clean
up. For less than a $30 per month
membership, he has access to the facilities at any time, day or night.
The
storage facility he lives in has no running water or gas. Electricity is the only saving grace for him,
as the unit he has lived in now for the past two years, has a faulty ‘sleep’
switch that allows the power to remain on 24 hours a day. He knows how to tap into the system safely,
allowing him to run a mini-refrigerator, computer system, television monitor
and heater or fan, when needed. He
calls this space he goes to every day, home, though he really doesn’t want to.
When
he first became homeless over three years ago, he started off sleeping on park
benches. Thankfully, that only lasted
one week. The money he had been waiting
on to pay his rent had finally started to trickle in, but it was too late to
get his rental space back. He had to
look at alternative living arrangements.
That’s when the first concept of a storage unit came to mind. He had to place what little possessions he
owned into a safe place, thus a storage unit was a good opportunity. He choose a space that he could afford and
had a little extra space to lay out in during the night.
That
first unit measured 10 foot by 5 foot and the closest electrical outlet to his
unit was across the hall, four feet away.
That outlet was on an eight minute sleeper, an automatic shut off
system. The running of electrical cords
had to be late at night when the facility was closed to avoid people seeing the
cord. It was at that time, he began the
cat-and-mouse game with the property employees.
During
the first year and half, living in the storage unit was also the most intense
situation he had ever experienced. In that time, three separate break-ins
occurred to various units surrounding his.
His unit was never touched which was a blessing. But it was the last theft that got his heart
racing the most. As he slept in the
unit, he was awakened by the sound of clanging metal. As he lay there,
listening carefully, he could hear people walking in the aisle behind his unit,
and the dropping of metal onto the floor.
Quietly, he called 9-1-1. As he
was on the phone, he questioned what to say as to why he was there and how to
avoid being considered one of the thieves.
He told the 9-1-1 operator he was working late and his unit was closed
to stay warm. He gave the female
emergency operator his unit number and remained on the line as he quickly got
dressed. When the police arrived and
opened his unit, he was sitting still in a chair. As they talked, one of the officers
recognized him from a previous call a few months prior, a thought of comfort in
one aspect, as he would not be considered as a possible suspect, but also a
thought of fear, not knowing how it would look in the police report. That simple statement could lead to the
possibility of him living on the property.
The
thieves broke into 10 units, but easily escaped due to the lookout man who was
sitting in a getaway car with the engine running, carefully watching for the
police. This was the last time a robbery
occurred on the property, as shortly after, he purchased a vehicle and always
parked on the lot. A small factor he
believes is helping to deter thefts.
The first year of his homelessness was a year
of growth and determination for him on many levels. He already had many negatives working against
him that contributed to not being able to find a well-paying job. Add into the mix, a business that had
consumed all of his funds and the economy still in a nose dive, he was left
with no option but to shut it down. His
debts were too much to recover from, so he was forced to file for bankruptcy,
something he thought he would never have to do.
It would be a year before he would get a job of any length. Working part-time jobs was the best he could
arrange during that first year. But
through the gift of a friend, he was given a contract job paying $9 per hour
when he started. Now, 18 months later, he earns $10 per hour. The job is a contract job, so he can work as
many or as few hours as he wants though he tends to work nearly 50 hours a
week.
A couple of months after getting the job,
another friend then offered to sell him a car.
All he had to do was take over the payments and cover the additional
cost of insurance. The car was another
great gift, allowing him to continue to work and invest time in a non-profit
organization he had started just weeks before his situation arose.
In
his third year residing in a storage unit, where the temperature has dropped
from a sweltering 90 degrees or more in summer down to 40 degrees at night
during the winter, he learned to deal with the seasons. The temperature didn’t fluctuate much from
night to day in the steel unit, so it actually takes a week or more for the
temperature to go rise or fall in a measureable amount.
This
past summer was one of the worst seasons.
He not only had to fight the weather in excess of 90 degrees during the
night which led to mild heat stroke that lasted for a week, but also the bed
bugs that arrived in early spring and continued to linger into winter. He feels grateful there aren’t as many as
there was in the beginning. Thankfully,
the hot summer helped kill the bed bugs or at least brought their numbers down
to a small amount…a bearable amount. He
has had to replace his pillows and bedding at least once due to the bed bugs,
but he is grateful to have the money to be able to purchase replacements.
Along with the cold weather, comes the holiday
season. His desire to have a good
‘holiday’ meal is limited to a variety of simple sources. At first, the meals came from The Salvation
Army kitchen, where the meal had the usual fixings and twice as much food as meals served elsewhere. During the second year, he ate meals at the
HEB holiday dinner, which was just as good as The Salvation Army’s except with
a lot more people. The meals were not served on the actually holiday, but
usually a week earlier. On the actual
holiday, he usually worked in his storage unit finishing up paperwork for his
non-profit, or if funds were available, he would enjoy a simple pleasure and go
to the movies.
While he misses the enjoyment of having a
holiday meal with family and friends, he is always grateful for the things he
still has. Now, with the larger unit,
and a non-interrupted electricity source, he enjoys the use of a mini-frig and
microwave oven, both of which allows him to eat a variety of frozen meals,
including a turkey dinner. During the
first two years, he was forced to eat as cheaply as possible, which meant going
to the soup lines and buying very cheap frozen dinners, when possible. Both options had downsides, but he learned to
accept them and make the best of what he has without complaining. Now that he earns a bit more, he is able to
eat at fast food restaurants from time-to-time, and on rare occasions, he
allows himself to go to a nice restaurant for a sit-down meal. He misses being able to cook a meal on a
stove or in an oven, but they are simple pleasures among many he yearns for.
Going
to the bathroom is one of those simple pleasures. When he comes home from his day job, he is
forced to use a plastic bottle he empties daily into a larger plastic bottle,
which he then empties out every three or four days into the local sewer during
the very early morning hours when no one is around and darkness shields him
from being seen. At times, he feels like
he’s cheating on something or doing something wrong, but he is only adjusting
to what is available in such a harsh environment and situation.
His
worst moments regarding his bodily waste, were when he was sick or had minor
food poisoning. A simple small trash
bucket lined with a trash bag has taken on the job of a toilet. With each use, he ties off the bag to cut
down on the pungent smell. Over time,
his body acclimated to a normal cycle, waiting for the morning shower at the
gym or at work.
While
he has been living in the unit, his life has improved slowly over time. He started off with few possessions; no car
or refrigerator, just a personal computer and monitor, which was able to receive
TV signals.
After
filing for bankruptcy and losing his business, he has worked hard to build his
credit, which nose-dived to the mid-500s.
He was not prepared at how difficult it would be to build it back up,
but eventually he hit the mid-600s. The
car purchase did not help, since the payments were given to a friend and not a
finance company. Though, he was able to
purchase a new laptop on credit from a store which has given him the ability to
improve his credit score and forming his non-profit.
All
of these are small wins for him, but they can’t compare to the larger wins he experiences
from the non-profit work. It is this
work that keeps him moving forward, keeps him grounded and sane. While the type of work is unimportant to the
overall aspect of life on earth, it does have value for thousands of people in
small ways. It does help improve
people’s lives and inspires them to do better, to reach for their goals, to
live a more fulfilled life. It is for
that purpose that he doesn’t complain or walk around looking like he’s
homeless. It’s the joy of helping others
that makes his situation bearable for him.
No one else needs to know about his homelessness, nor what brought him
to that point. That information is not
relevant to who he is.
It
is what he knows about himself that is important to him, not what others think.
But he also knows that he just can’t scream, “I’m homeless,” as people really
wouldn’t understand. People, he has
learned the hard way, are quick to judge.
They don’t want to find out why the situation exists, they just find it
difficult to understand that it does.
Though, as the years have gone by, and with more and more people
becoming poorer day-by-day, he knows his situation is not unique. He knows others have also lived in storage
units on the same property as his, for short periods of time. A couple of whom had been discovered and
kicked off the lot.
His
personal love life doesn’t exist, though he would love for the right person to
come along one day, but until he has a home, he doesn’t want the situation to
come up, where he would be asked to come over and spend time together. He simply tells those who ask, that he has a
roommate and they agree no one is to come over at any time. People usually understand and accept it. It’s a lie he doesn’t like to tell, but it
has become all too easy to say with each passing day. He believes that keeping a wall up from
getting too involved with people in a romantic way, is the best thing to do for
now.
He
has just turned 54 and this was not how he envisioned his life when he was a
young lad. He dreamed of the typical
home and loving spouse, maybe kids, and a dog or two; a good job, a life of
happiness and joy. While happiness is
something he does have even now, it was something that he has learned to accept
and understand as he dealt with his situation.
The home, spouse, kids and all, are great, but as with personal
belongings, none of that matters if you do not love yourself first and
foremost. It is that lesson of life that
he began to learn many years ago and finally came to terms with when he became
homeless.
He
believes that no matter what your situation is in life, if you truly love
yourself, you will get through it. You will not only survive, but become a
better person for it. How you choose to
deal with the negative thoughts and actions by others all depends on the
ability to love yourself. Your faith in
yourself and balancing the good and bad makes all the difference. For one to be grateful for the good things in
life is all so easy to do, but to be grateful for the negative things is a
challenge that most are unable to accomplish.
It is the bad things in life that make or break you.
While
he has never thought of himself to be better than anyone else, he knows that
how he has chosen to deal with things has also kept him from becoming the
tortured soul, the broken person seen sleeping on the streets, living a life of
hopelessness. He has become more and
more grateful for what he has and what he receives on both ends of the
spectrum. He is grateful and thankful
for when he finds a penny on the street or a friend reaches out with an
incredible offer of help.
Each
morning as he rises, he knows where he is, but he is grateful for what he
has. When he heads to the gym to work
out and take his shower for the day, he is grateful for what he has. When he gets to drive to work and earn a
small living, he is grateful for what he has.
When he is able help other through his non-profit organization, he is
grateful to be of service. When he hears
of accomplishments made by those he helps, he is full of joy for being able to
be a part of the experience. He’s no
saint, and when he forgets to be grateful, life reminds him that his life could
be worse.
He
only hopes that what little that he does, in turn helps to inspire others to do
better and overcome their obstacles in life.
He doesn’t see himself as special, just an average guy dealing with each
situation life brings him the best way he can.
# # #
Life goes on...I go on
