In my earlier postings I mentioned that there were five main issues that brought me to this point in my life. So far, I have discussed Politics, Criminal Record and the inability to find a job. Now it’s time for to get a little personal.
I am not a very patient person on a lot of levels and this has clearly caused me to push many things along. That in of itself can be good and bad.
The good aspect is that I keep things moving along through deadlines, goal setting, etc. When I set those deadlines, I do expect them to be met and I therefore plan accordingly for sales revenue or expenditures to be reached. At first, I didn’t have much space in my deadlines for things to happen and that cost me dearly on many levels. I have since eased back a bit and built in extra time for emergency or failures to deliver.
The bad side of being impatient is pushing things along a bit too fast and too hard. While things do get done, I have actually wasted money by not going slower and in some cases double checked the work, wither mine or someone else’s.
On the issue of being impatient, I have grown tremendously. I do plan for things to happen down the road, but I allow for more time to make it happen. It does not always save me from losing money, as this Holiday season has already proven. But, I at least have not lost as much money as I would have, if I had pushed through it. It should be noted that the lost of money for Holiday 2011 rest squarely on the fact of not having the funds to do the project completely.
Here is another issue that can be both positive and negative that has contributed to my current situation. My lack of concern as to what people think of me. For the positive aspect, I tell people what I think good or bad. I DO NOT sugar coat it, or dress it up. It is blunt. While, blunt, I am of a loving nature, so I don’t always say things out o hatred or anger, though I have been pushed to that point by a small number of people. So while I am blunt, I don’t believe that I am rude and crude. With that said, this again can go both ways.
On the positive side, people know what to expect from me and that will be blunt honesty. And while that may be shocking to them, they do appreciate it.
For the negative aspect, there are a lot of people whose feelings are too raw and they cannot handle the bluntness, the honesty of what I say. They do need to have it sugar coated. I apologies to them, but I am not your therapist and I don’t have time to waste trying to figure out who can and cannot handle me. Furthermore, I am not going to waste your time and mine by dancing around the subject. Your time is as valuable as mine, why waste it?
I have no doubt people will have a lot of other comments to say about me, I really don’t care. I’ve learned the hard way, you will always have the “Haters” and their thoughts are usually self-absorbed concepts full of BS. This is why I don’t care what people think of me.
Now, I will be clear here that I am not a saint and I have harmed people, some intentionally, most by accident. I have just as equally contributed to my situation as the other four aspects have. No one single attribute carry’s all the weight and responsibility for my homelessness. But, it is also clear, that altering and improving one or two would clearly address, if not correct my situation. Time will tell if that happens.
Life goes on…I go on.
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