Recently I had come down with a summer time cold. I was out of it for just a few days, but they were horrible days for me. I became so depressed that weeks later I am still in a slight depression. I continue to work the business and do my best to keep it alive while helping others to live their dreams. I love being able to do that and I KNOW that the messages I keep getting out through these books are good solid messages to help people heal, thus help the Universe move forward in a positive way. That’s what I have seen my business to be about from day one. Not about wealth to the point of being a Facebook or an Oil Company, but enough money to allow me to enjoy life and to help others.
During my depression I really contemplated shutting down the biz and I really got on my ass for being useless. I am still having legal issues from the bankruptcy and my losses from last year that also keeps me depressed. All I want is an attorney who is not money hungry, but who can see how I am and was screwed last year by these large companies and put a stop to it. Get my money back so I can move forward. Instead, the downward spiral continues and that is depressing as hell.
Even when I do my mantras of “I AM…” I still can’t seem to shake this hell I am feeling and living in. Yeah, I know, my hell is a piece of cake compared to others. I get that, I really do and that is one thing that keeps me motivated to keep moving forward and trying to get out of this hell.
But, I am still dealing with my lack of self worth right now…and until I can REALLY break that, my depression will still linger.
Life goes on…I go on
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