Wednesday, June 17, 2015

When it Rains it Pours

It seems that the weather and I have something in common these past few weeks, it wont stop pouring!  Ok that's a bit dramatic, well almost.

Over the past few months, I have been working hard on my non profit to make sure we continue to grow and in so doing, have had a lot of bills to contend with.  Sadly, the results of our growth has not turned into profit or a steady revenue stream.  This lack of funds, has now made it very difficult for me to pay the organizations bills, and mine.

Add in the fact that I am still homeless, which contributes to other issues, that being the one most annoying of them all...BED BUGS!  Ugh, I thought I was over them from last year.  By the end of summer last year, they were gone and I enjoyed the winter and spring bug free.  Now they are back and biting as much as before.  Don't let "Orange is the new Black" show convince you that they don't bite.  Bed Bugs live off of your blood, so they DO bite and it does hurt.  Especially when they gang up on you in one area, like your feet or hands.  Between the bite and the itching, it makes it hard to sleep at nights.  I have had to resort to sleeping aids to help me get through the night.  And yes, I do wake up, turn on my iPhone flashlight and search out those buggers and squish them dead when they wake me up.  My sheets are polka dots of blood resulting from their deaths.  And yes, I do spray to kill them, but the only way to really kill them is through high heat.  You would think that a storage unit getting as high as 90-100 degrees would kill them, God knows it is uncomfortable for me.

On my way home from an event recently, my car's fuel pump decided to stop working, leaving me stranded 30 miles from home.  Without the car, I had to cancel several appointments for work, and for pleasure.  Now I have to come up with the $700 to fix it.

When the car died is when I found out my insurance had been cancelled on the car, due to lack of payment.  Another item, that needs attention, along with my over drawn credit card, loans, storage fees and the phone bill...all currently past due.  $2,300 worth of bills all due right now!

So, for the past couple of weeks, we have had record amounts of rain to match my record amount of frustration....when it rains it pours!

But, with all of that said, I can do one of two things...wallow in this momentary grief or step up and do my best to have faith in knowing that it will all work it self out quickly and somewhat effortlessly.  I am choosing to believe in faith. 

Let's face it, I've been homeless for four years now, and while I am not thrilled about being homeless, I could be in worst shape.  Things continue to improve for me and that is the key issue.  While I suffer these momentary set backs, they are just that...momentary.  They are not major set backs that cause me to loose everything that has come my way.  I am working, I do have a car, I am doing what I love doing...helping people.  Thus, I am grateful or what I DO HAVE! 

And yes, I do bitch at times about the frustration of a set back, or the feeling of lack, but event then, I remind myself it could be worst.  And yes, I would love for Ellen or some other TV show to surprise me and help me get a home, or for the non-profit to get a huge gift that would make some major improvements for us, but until that time, I must always remain faithful that there is a reason for what I am going through, and that it will be of great value for myself and for others down the road.

I continue to work hard and build a future for myself and for others that has a greater impact on the world.  That is what is important, continue improvement of one self and the value they add to the world in a positive way.

Life goes on...I go on

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