12-1-11 Update

Howdy;

Ok, I've got to vent, so bare with me.

This morning I was checking my emails and saw an email from one of my authors who did something they had absolutely NO right to do.  They were not trying to help me, only themselves and now it has cost ME to loose up to $2,500.  What the F....!!!!

First off, why couldn't this person be patient and allow for the process to run its course?  Why couldn't this person contact me first before they did what he did?  Finally, he had brought the issue up to me and I told him I would take care of it, which I was and which there was much more to what was going on then he was aware of, so why didn't he just back off and let me take care of it?

I get that we want our books to do well, but at what cost?  This stunt has set me back again and I'm so tired of it.  He's the 4th author who thinks they know how to run my business with absolute no respect for what I am doing.  I'm over it.  I advised him that he had until December 10th to buy out his contract and I advised him how much it would cost, which was a very low price for what it would cost him in court for this screw up of his.

I want to be VERY clear here, I am not homeless by choice!  I want to live in a house or an apt that is mine, that I can enjoy the comforts that my authors are currently enjoying.  I ended up being homeless because I believe in my business and in my authors works enough to put myself on the back burner to help make sure that their books get sold.  Not because I enjoy sleeping in a storage unit or on a park bench!

When this type of crap happens, it doesn't just effect me, it effects every other author that works with me and it's not fair to them or to myself!  Yes, if you haven't gathered by now I am SUPPER PISSED!  It's shit like this that added to me loosing $100,000 and I will NOT put up with it anymore.

With that said...

Life goes on...I go on.

11-14-11 #6 Causes to my Homelessness

I have over the past month listed 5 causes that brought me to my current situation of homelessness.  I would like to now venture out a bit on a 6 cause that may be considered a bit out there in the wild for most people and that final cause is Spirit.

I have been a student of Spirit and Spirituality for over 30 years and to be honest not always a very good student at understanding it or practicing my beliefs.

While I can understand the concept of balance as outlined through Buddhist practice I also understand the concept of “Life,” being caught up in the moment.

While trying to practice peace and tranquility by being centered and balanced, it is just that, practice.  When we are living in the human form, we deal with a variety of things on so many levels it can be overwhelming.  It is then very easy to forget what you are trying to achieve (peace) and allow emotions (ego) to get the better of you.

To be honest, that’s why we are here to begin with.  To experience life so that we may grow from it and hopefully find that balance, that centered peace that we can and will achieve; nirvana, heaven and pure love.

So with that in mind, knowing that we are spiritual beings that are part of god/Universe, we can then create things in our life that help us to achieve that ultimate goal.

In my case, while I have great belief in what my company is about and trying to achieve, I may have on a spiritual level set out to create my current situation.  This sub conscious act also means that the ends to my madness is there waiting to happen, however, I must first go through whatever it is I have created in order to learn what I must.  In addition to that, I also know that we work with each other on a spiritual basis to make sure that all the players are there doing their part to help one learn their lesson, while they learn their own.  Thus, even though this may seem to be ‘my’ issue, I may have also agreed to be part of a larger aspect that has not completely come to my attention yet.  That is, not until I get out of myself and stay focused on the ‘bigger’ picture.

So, even though I have pointed out 5 main causes that together have brought me to this point of homelessness, there may in fact be that 6 reason; my subconscious spirit wanting me to learn something so that I may become a greater person, or to help the Universe become greater through my actions related to my current situation. 

As I said, it may be too far out there for many people and that’s ok.  For those who read this and understand it, I hope they too may learn from my experience.

Life goes on…I go on.

11-9-11 Causes of My Homelessness #4

Before I go into this subject matter, I MUST be very clear that the people I am indirectly referring to in this posting probably would not be reading this post.  In addition, since this is a very small amount of people that I am referring to, it in NO way reflects on the many people that work with me and my business.  I have worked extremely hard with my authors and artist to build a relationship that I pray that it is long lasting and I sincerely hope becomes profitable for all of them on their individual projects and as owners of Creative House Press.  Now with that being said, I must outline the fourth of five reasons why I am currently homeless.

The human Ego is a very treacherous thing that pushes us to become the best at many things on many levels.  But, it is that Ego that has lead us to become so self absorbed and to only think of ourselves.

I work with a variety of people from a wide range of backgrounds, sexuality, creativeness, etc.  Each one has a dream to create something and then to share it with the world.  It is my job to take that item and to help create it in a form that can be shared with others.  I work with a variety of people to help create that item.  The most important aspect is that I work with the artist or author to create their work.  It is that working relationship that sets me apart from traditional publishing houses, especially since I don’t charge for that service.  I know how critical it is for them to be a part of the journey.  So when I work with an author or an artist that begins o dictate to me every little detail of the project, regardless of what I know will or will not work, I find it a bit frustrating.  When I remind them that they are not paying me, usually they get the message and re-group how they are approaching the project.

What really gets me is when you are working on a project and the author or artist does not give their input or ideas, not because they don’t have any to give, but because they don’t want to spend the time or energy to create the perfect book.  Instead, they lead you along making you think everything is perfect when it is not.  They don’t promote their book and in fact will talk bad about it, but fail to advise the publisher of what’s wrong.  They don’t have the time or energy.  Ok, I’m confused.  You have the time and energy to talk bad about your book, but not the time or energy to let the publisher know there are issues.  How can the publisher fix anything if they are unaware of any issues.  In fact, the author or artist approved the book, so why would there be issues.  This happened with two books which caused me to lose thousands of dollars in sales.  The only way I found out about there being issues was when I confronted the author or artist about the lack of promotion.  Then the truth came out, but by then the damage was done to the book and to my company.

The other aspect I love is when an author or artist is extremely late in delivering their book.  Then once delivered, makes changes after it’s gone to press, not once, but several times.  These constant changing costs a lot of money to re-set and re-load the book to the printers and to the eBook system.  In addition, the delays cut into a sales period or cause it to be delayed by months or years.  When projections are made for sales and expenditures based on a book being available, it creates chaos and financial disaster when that book is delayed.  This too has happened to me on a few occasions which caused me to lose thousands in sales.

Finally, as I briefly mentioned earlier, there is that one or two authors who Ego’s are so huge that they choose to ignore you and do as they please with absolutely no regard as to what it may cost the publisher.  This too has cost me to lose sales income.

Between the three items mentioned above, I have determined that I lost over $50,000 in sales and $15,000 in cash.  For my small business, that’s huge.  It is large enough of a lost that I seriously have to determine a way to recover that, either through a law suit, or personal arrangements with the author or artist.  As you can guess, personal settlement is not happening, thus leaving me to file a law suit.  Lucky for them, I’m so broke; I can’t afford to hire a lawyer.  So the rich get richer and the poorer get poorer.

Life goes on…I go on.

11-2-11 Despair

It is amazing how easy it is to get caught up in a routine that is not healthy or productive when one is homeless.

I have currently two major objectives in my life.  Keep my business alive and don’t get caught sleeping in my storage unit.  I also have other objectives that fall under the top tow, these are: get a job, stay healthy and sane, and use my time as wisely as possible.  And yet, I find myself wondering what the hell is going on.  I am so consumed at times with my time and how to use it up; I seem to forget other issues.

I latterly shook my head last night while I was at the cheap hotel wondering, “Why am I still in this position?”  Am I becoming like so many other homeless people that get so distraught that they give up?  I sincerely hope not.  But, as I keep dealing with this and not seeing any progress to reversing my situation, I am ever so slowly becoming disfranchised.

Here is an example:  Starbucks has launched a program to help get people back to work.  I even went out and donated to the cause.  As I investigate it further to see how my business my benefit from it, I immediately learned that for the next 3-6 months, I can’t.  Between the bankruptcy and the lack of sales, my company’s credit value is zero.  And yet, I need those funds, an investment, to turn that around.

Again, it goes back to the old saying, “If you have money, you can make money.”  Screw the hard work of myself and my authors & artist.  Screw the hundreds of thousands of dollars spent on building a business.  If you get caught up in a bad position such as I am, you are screwed even further!

Thus, I must keep thinking outside the box on creative ways to ring money in to pay bills, pay past debts, etc.

Ob a spiritual level, I understand that what energy I put out is what comes back.  It is so hard to remain positive e, hopeful and confident when you are slapped in the face on a regular basis.  This feeling of despair then enters my mind set of wither to keep the business alive.  Then I come back to the 100 or so people counting on me, plus the knowledge that what I am doing is RIGHT on a greater Universal aspect and this is NOT about ME!  If this is a classic fight of Good vs. Evil, I want to be on Good’s side and fight until I die.

Life goes on…I go on.

11-1-11

Eelier in my postings, I had been clear that there were several issues that combined caused my current situation.  I have talked briefly about one of them, now it’s time to discuss another one.

I have no education from a college of any type on how to run a business.  Everything I know has been from practical experience in running restaurants to my own businesses in the past.

When a large publishing firm s crewed up one of my books, I was furious to say the least.  That to me was the death of my book and it was from that anger that I set out to create my own publishing company.

That was part of the error, no experience in the publishing world that would prove vital to establishing a publishing company.  I was therefore on a very steep learning curve that lasted four years.  Thankfully, it was while the eBook generation was being created, so like many companies, I was learning the same thing they were at the same time.

One of the other issues of starting the business was not being 100% clear about the service I was offering.  At first it was along the lines of a self publishing company format.  Over time it grew into a traditional publishing house, with the emphasis on new authors and artist.  Helping them to become their best and ultimately recovering my investment with a best seller or two.  That has not come to fruitarian as I had hoped for.

Another issue was my contract.  At no time had I locked any of my autho5rs into a multiple book deal.  That has proven costly.

Finally the big problem that every business can find themselves in is the lack of start up funds.  This has been the biggest error in starting the business.

Not having the knowledge of how to create a biz plan, and how to find investors, I have limped along from book to book.  When I did expect certain flows of income to happen, but found myself in a position of scrambling when authors missed deadlines, or printers not producing the books as hired to do, and not having the money to sue anyone for their failure to full fill their contract.  This last part alone has cost me to lose over $100,000 in revenue.

Not having the funds to hire an attorney is one of the most frustrating aspects I am dealing with.  What happened to Lawyers protecting the common man?  Forget that!  If you don’t have the money to pay their outrageous fees that are monopolized by their organizations you are screwed!

Now know that I didn’t have the knowledge to create a proper biz plan, I sought out organizations that help give you the basic knowledge, but that’s all you get, is very basic knowledge.  I don’t have the funds to enroll into a community college to learn about it.  And I have become ever so clear that investment funds are not really available for publishing companies.  Thus, I remain at square one, lack of funds.

Now that’s all the negative parts of this issue.  Here is the positive.  I come from a writer’s perspective.  I’ve gone through the publishing experiences of self publishing and large house publishing.  I know and understand what authors need and by not having full knowledge of what publishing traditions is, I can and do think outside the box.  Creative ways to help market my authors and their books.  Some of that works, some of it doesn’t.  But, I have to be honest and admit; not having the money is THE biggest obstacle that keeps me from succeeding.  And that Must and Will change.  Now, I just need the economy to cooperate…lol

Life goes on…I go on.

10-21-11 Day 29

Howdy!  It’s been a couple of days of me working through my illness, it was sinus issues and now that I am over it, I can try to get refocused on what needs to be done.  Saving my business is one of the main aspects.

This weekend is the Texas Book Festival.  My company had submitted 25 books for their review and even though a couple of them got great reviews from the press  and one even won a couple of awards, all of them were refused.  Simply put, none of them had a big name attached to it or huge marketing budgets.  Thus, to TBF, they didn’t see a draw so they couldn’t make money from my authors, thus, there is no reason to invite the authors to attend.  So much for the TBF being created to promote Texas Authors, Books and reading.  As with everything these days, it’s all about the MONEY!  I will be passing out information in front of the gates at the Texas Book Festival regardless of their desires.  I need to keep my business alive for so many more reasons than just myself.

There are other events going on in the city as well this weekend that I do hope to enjoy in some way. 

This morning I was just barely awake when one of the other storage unit renters came in close to my unit and began getting things out.  This alarmed me as my door may look locked, it is not and anyone who studies the lock closely would realize that and open the door.  Me lying down on my makeshift bed is not what they need to be seeing, well they don’t need to see anything in there at all.  I just don’t need to be exposed as living in there.  So I quickly got dressed as quietly as I could, get everything together for my gym run and as soon as I heard sounds of them walking away, I jumped out, unlocked my lock and locked up my unit.  I was unseen from them, and on my way out of the building.  Too close for call.  I DO NOT like this at all!

Life goes on…I go on.