10-7-11 #2

In a recent conversation with a friend, he asked me where I was sleeping.  I told him that I was bouncing between the storage un8it and when I could afford it, the supper cheap hotel room.  He asked me why I wasn’t sleeping at the shelters.  There are several reasons I don’t sleep there at this time.

My main concern is the safety factor involved at the shelters.  There have been many times when I stood in the Soup Lines and I heard many conversations about the various shelters.  Too many times, I heard about the fights and other illegal activities that go on during the night.  While most of them I dismiss as just talk and general B.S., there is an overwhelming negative energy that I just don’t need to be around or associated with.

Regardless of that safety issue, there is a greater issue that concerns me.  There are far more people in need of that bed space than I.  The bed space is so limited as it is, that I just can’t justify taking someone else’s bed space.

He then asked me about the storage unit allowing me to sleep there.  They don’t, in fact it is against their rules for a lot of reasons; safety, liability, etc.  Thus I am taking a chance each evening I sleep in it.  It is not my preferred location to sleep in, but considering all aspects, it’s safer and more comfortable.

But please, do not misunderstand me, it is a necessity at the moment and not something I want to make permanent.  I truly believe that my situation is extremely temporary, at least I pray for that.

Another side note; as I typed this up, the reality of something came to mind.  By me not using many of the services that are available for the homeless, I am in my own way keeping a certain reality from hitting me.  As long as I have my business and continue to move forward, I feel that I am not as in bad shape as the majority of the homeless is.  This is may seem arrogant in some ways, but it is that part of me that keeps me from feeling totally lost or down and out.  I MUST hold on to something that keeps me from feeling as if I have failed. 

Life goes on…I go on