Already 18 Months...ugh

I was talking with a person over the weekend, we've known each other for a good two months now.  Slowly we have become friends, and both understand their is a desire for more to happen in our relationship, but it's going slow and that's good.

Has I have written before, I don't normally tell someone that I am homeless, after all, it's still something I am not happy about...who would be?

While we were talking about a variety of things, including spiritual understanding and growth, I brought up my homelessness as part of a point of how we sub consciously choose to do things, even when we know they may not be good for us...in this case, me still being homeless. 

The admission caught the person ever so briefly which was nice to see.  But what caught me off guard was the fact that I realized it's been 18 months already of being homeless.  Hell, I didn't think I would last more then a month, and here it is 18 months later. 

In addition, while I still refuse to call my storage unit home, it is in many ways just that.  Even when a friend recently offered me to stay at their place with a lot of conditions, I felt that I should just stay put.  I have a routine, I have my belongings, I have a place that is mine.  With that admission, I can see why it is hard for people to move out of their 'comfort' zone at times.  Granted, my option was limited and short term, so not a major change, but it also brings me to a better understanding of others and of myself.

The good thing is that life still continues to improve.  I still have a contract job that is helping me pay my old and new bills.  I now have a car with payments, gas and insurance requirements being meet.  I have additional items that help me live better and a happier life.  So while I am still homeless, I continue to move forward and in time, I pray real soon, I will no longer be homeless.  Until then...

Life goes on...I go on

Homeless man NOT so Homeless

Barefoot homeless guy apparently has apartment, 30 pairs of shoes

1 hr ago

Jeffrey Hillman, better known as "the guy in that viral photo that a cop gave all those shoes and socks to," was recently profiled by the New York Post counting a stack of bills on the way back from "work" in Times Square. The Rev. John Graf, who says he pays Hillman's utility bills, admits that Hillman has 30 pairs of shoes in his Bronx apartment and has been "working the streets … for years," reportedly making up to $1,000 a day. NYPD Commissioner Ray Kelly offers the most levelheaded take on this news: "That's life in New York. ... But it was a generous act of kindness." He's right: Let's focus on the good in people, not the bad.

I read the above article and was immediately pissed at the fact that this so called homeless man is not homeless.  He has an apartment in NYC?  I'm sorry, but as a homeless man sleeping in a storage unit, where does he get off duping people?  But he's not alone!  Even here in Austin, TX, there are a lot of people who take advantage of the kindness of strangers to bring in a few hundred dollars a day, and maintain a place to live.

Thus the question is: Why should I be pissed at someone who is working the system for their benefit? 

The answer is not easy to explain.  I guess I am tired of the people who scam the system to make money.  I get that we are a culture now of easy money, hell we have been that way since the 80's at least.  Work as little as possible and make as much as possible at the same time.  We see this in so many ways; politicians, movie stars, athletes, reality TV stars, etc. 

I tend to believe that if you work hard, you will succeed.  But, I have to be honest, it's getting harder to believe that's true.  Is it?

I would love comments on this.  Is working hard and being rewarded fairly a thing of the past?

Life goes on...I go on?

Yen/Yang of Life

Things are slowly improving in my life and I very happy with what is happening.  I have bought an SUV, it’s older and not great on gas, but it’s something that I can work with on payments, ins., etc.  Thus, it’s mine and it adds hours to my day, and more fun to my life…lol

Now with that being said, I have experienced the third break in to the storage unit property in four months.  The break-in’s in of them self are not bad, they don’t get to my unit, which is always good.  But the fact that I am the one calling 911 is a bit nerve racking.  Sooner or later, the property management is going to finally click that I am living there, and they will have to through me out.  While things are improving, the money is increasing, and the opportunity to move into a better housing situation is getting closer, I’m just not there yet.  Thus, I can’t afford to loose what I have at the moment.

Recently, I had a discussion with a spiritual teacher that indicated that they would always want to life in joy and happiness, more then fear and anger, which on the outset is great.  But in the discussion, I was saying that I just wanted to live in balance.  Thus, not giving too much energy to one or the other, but to acknowledge each of them for what they were and to just be.

This concept I was discussing is based on my small amount of knowledge of Buddhism, living a life of balance.  Now, while I deal with the break-in, which can be negative, I also deal with getting a vehicle, which can be positive.  So it’s the yen/yang of our world…good and negative always finding a balance between the two of them.  That’s where I want to be.  Not going up and down on a rollercoaster, but feeling the middle road of life.  Being at peace as each item comes along and I deal with it as needed, but not giving into the high or lows…the rollercoaster of life.

Is that wrong?

Life goes on…I go on

Mr. Reed Misses the Point - He's Just a Bully

Recently an uproar has been made about an actress being overweight. While I don't agree with the tactics of Mr. Reed attacking the actress publicly, one does wonder what message is being sent by the actress to the millions of children and adults who are struggling with being overweight.

I struggle with that issue constantly myself, though my weight is 175 lbs and am 6' tall, I am actually slender, but I love my sweets and junk food just like everyone else, and it is those items that pack on the most fat weight.

There is no telling what an overweight persons struggle is, if they have one at all. We have heard of certain deficiencys in a body’s metabolism that may cause easy weight gain, and what may make lossing the weight harder if not impossible. We have heard that it may be caused by stress, or lack of ones self worth. In many cases, it is just that we have become addicted to fattening foods for various reasons. No matter what the reason is, it's for that person to deal with. If they choose to get help, it's available for them. If they are happy with how they look, then it should be OK for them to be that way, and they should be willing to take on full responsibility for any illness it may cause at their expense.

I do know one thing that I can attest too, and that is how large companies have created fattening foods and have managed to get the federal government to approve them for their SNAP (food stamp) program, when they should not be. At the same time, shame on the government for not giving enough money to people so they can afford to purchase healthy foods.

Here is a perfect example: During my homelessness, I have been able to arrange to get food stamps to help me eat. That's $200 per month for a single person. That means, if I want to eat enough food to 'fill' me up, I can only spend about $6.00 per day on junk food. Not healthy food, but junk food, the food that makes me gain weight and destroys my body's health. Can you imagine eating enough food for a whole day on just $6.00? You really can't. That's why my food stamps usually only last 20 days at best, and that's me staying at $10.00 per day.

I can't even buy vitamins that would help keep my body healthy as it's not a 'food' item. Yet, you can buy soda's, snack candy, chips and so much other unhealthy food with the food stamps.

This maneuvering of the big corporations to suck more money out of the government is a sham in no uncertain terms. By forcing low income families to buy unhealthy food, they then force them to need medical treatment more, which means more money out of the federal governments pocket...YOUR POCKET!

Healthy foods need to be the only thing available to purchase on food stamps, and the government needs to keep pace with rising food costs. The last increase on food stamps was over four years ago, and prices have increased over 30% since then. Thus, less money to buy food, forces people to buy less healthy food, which means more medical bills, which means more taxes.

But sadly, as with everything else going on in this world, the American public will allow this to continue saying it's not their problem. Or even better yet, like Mr. Reed, they will publicly humiliate someone saying a variety of mean things to try and shame that person or persons, while not really understanding what the problem is, but only to make themselves feel like they are helping address a problem, when all they are doing is being a 'bully' and to be real honest, chicken shit by not addressing the real issues at hand.

Life goes on...I go on

I have a Job!

Howdy;

As of today, I am going to be working for a company as a contract employee.  It's not much, just $9.00 pr hr for 20 hrs a week, but it's something and I am happy for it.

This job came about from a friend of mine that I had developed since July of last year.  Slowly this person and I became friends, and while he was aware of my situation, I never asked him for help, for I can't do that, and I had no clue if he could do anything for me.  But, when something came up in his company, he thought of me.

Even the issue of my felony from years ago, may be an issue at this time, he has faith that we will be able to over come it. 

So between the extension of work with Starbucks through the end of February, and this new contract job, I am feeling pretty damn good that things are improving for me.  Now, if I can get my Consulting company moving forward, along with the non profits that I had created, I should be moving forward in a positive way.  In no time, I may actually be moving into an apartment...YEAH!!!

Life goes on...I go on

Try....Even if you get Burned?

Recently a song came out from the artist known as Pink.  I love most of what she has sung over the past few years.  This particular song seems to sum up my attitude towards life.  Now keep in mind that her song is about love, while I am applying it to general life, for to me it does seem to apply.  The chorus goes like this:

Where there is desire there is going to be a flame
Where there is a flame, someone is bound to get burned
Just because it burns, doesn't mean your gonna die
You got to get up and try, and try, and try
You got to get up and try, and try, and try

It is so true!

Let's face it; life can be a Bitch at times.  Yes, you may loose love, you may loose a loved one, you may loose so much in life.  God knows I have.  But that doesn't mean I can't keep trying to do what my desire is.

Ok, over the past year I have lost my business, a home, and so much more.  Yet, even with all my bitching on this blog, I really do hope you see someone who continues to fight, even in a loosing battle. Someone who gets back up and try again.  After all, why should I sit and mope about things more then I do.  I get it out of my system, do my little tantrum and then get back into LIFE!

Even during this past year, I have meet so many interesting people.  I still have helped a variety of Authors get their books published.  Artist have been given a chance to do what they love doing.  Hell, I've even given a couple of attorneys a chance at acting like fools. 

Bottom line is this:  No matter what your desire is, as long as it is for good, then go for it!  Don't let the Nye Sayers keep you down.  Don't let fear keep you from touching the flame of fame, happiness or the light.  Get out there, set your self up for success and believe in achieving your desire.

Add light to the world in a positive way and you will be a better person for it.  Even if you don't achieve what your desire is, you will have been on a road that made you a better person.  If and only if, you realize the lessons you learned along the way and share your desire in a positive loving way.

Life goes on...I go on...And I want YOU to dream BIG!

Vacation Time

Recently I submitted a nominee to Ellen DeGeneres TV show...a Vacation to Australia as part of her show. The nominee was me. While there is no doubt I could and would love a vacation of any type that is paid for, I have to admit that it feels strange in so doing. Yes, I've had a rough two years. Yes, I've lost a lot. But, I know I'm not alone, so why should I nominate myself? Do I deserve to win? Did I suffer worst then someone else? NO!

When I walk into a soup kitchen, or down a street in some areas, I see people who are in worst shape then I am. Has I work on reorganizing my business, I know that I am blessed in many respects to be able to even do a business. When I go to bed and sleep in my storage unit, I am reminded every night that I am not out in the freezing cold, or crime ridden streets, I have a place to sleep. I have some form of money coming in to help keep me moving forward. So many people don't have it as good as I do.

Yes, I would love a vacation, even to a country that's on my 'want to visit' list. Yes, it would be great to sleep in a hotel bed, or eat a normal meal. Yes, it would be GREAT! But it's not necessary compared to getting into my own place, to be earning an income on a regular basis. Yes, I would love to have an experience that is uniquely Australia, but having a normal life would be even better.

So when Ellen's team chooses someone to win that trip, I sincerely hope that person really deserves it compared to me, or anyone one else who is suffering or going through a rough time. Don't let me down Ellen!

Life goes on...I go on.